how I feel about u ?

My last post is a long time ago. I have a new Idea what do you think about a v-blog? Should I do ?  

But another theme. 

How feel.. It's hard do expalin. I'm happy to know you and about loving u , I'm sad 'cause u never will love me or something like that. I dream about u but I know ur only playing, but I'll show u that I can play the same game. I hate u. I love u. I miss u. I want u. I' will never get u even for one night but I don't want it. I said  hard to explain and even harder to understand. 

...the last attempt to escape from certainty. [...] Or you can leave out the aggression inward, but it leads to more severe damage.